JUST B

Natural selection, bitch.

• I love when my friends from work taunt me because they're drinking, and I'm not.
• I left the spelling, as is. Guess who the drunk one is. I'll give you a hint, it's not me.
• Lisa: Just got two pizzas
• Lisa: This is the best pizza evr
• Me: You guys blow mother fucking chunks.
• Me: Fuck off weiner head. I'm getting apeshit drunk on you guys tomorrow night. Just wait.
• Lisa: Lol we wil b the sober ones putin ur ass on facebook
• Me: Sounds like a plan to me!
• Lisa: Thats a date badbb
• Me: Alright crackhead. Make sure you bring Tommy, or it doesn't count.
• Lisa: Bring it
• Me: It's on like Donkey-fucking-Kong girlfriend.
• Lisa: Stil drinkin losr
• Me: Dude. Smoke some crack. And shut up.
• Lisa: U gotcrcack?
• Me: Fuck yeah, wanna see it? I'll bend over nice and slow for ya.
• Lisa: Me and tom r on our way to tap that shit.hes usin the bak door .get it?
• Me: No, I don't get it at all. I'm an innocent little lamb. Only I'm screwing the lions and Mom found out. That's why I'm in trouble.
• Lisa: Haha we r cumin haha
• Me: It's a good thing it won't show on lambs white wool. Damn good thing that.
• Me: That's natural selection bitch. I survive, you die.
• Lisa: U r too funny iluv u